sappho's muse

I'm lost

2006-10-30T21:13:00.000+08:00

I'm lost.

Even though my eyes are open and the goggles under my eye lids are clear from finger prints and dust. I'm still lost. I don't like wearing shades, even when the daytime's heavy from the sun rays. But I'm still lost.

I'm stuck in this maze I've built myself. The maze in which the electric impulses in my brains will have to wade through before reaching the synapses in my grey matter. Sometimes there's a way to the middle. The Prize. And at other times, the maze is just a labyrinth of No Return and Wishful Thinking - a hopeless search for Retrieval and Redemption. Hope of finding the ultimate Truth - understanding me, myself and I.

I don't know what I'll do anymore.

How does one choose to do with one's life at this point?

Silly Valentines

2006-02-16T10:42:00.000+08:00

The 13th and 14th had come and gone with... absolutely no incidence at all. I'm beginning to feel the impact of how lonesome you can get when you are working in a foreign foreign land where (1) the locals irk you (2) the expats are cool but not 'ah-hum' the target profile I'm into (3) the person I care about is in another country more than 2 hours flight away.

I'm not the kind that can sustain long distance relationships well.

So I'd practically slept through my birthday on the 13th (although I celebrated with a few friends whom I felt intimate enough with to reveal that I've just turn a year older. Sob).

And I drank myself silly on Valentines day with a bunch of clients/friends, playing dice games and drinking lots of beer.

It took me a whole day yesterday to get over my hangover.

I think I'm allergic to alcoholic beverages now.

Keeping the fiery flames of love @ infatuation @ passion @ I-really-want-to-rock-your-world type relationship via phone calls, e-mails and Internet based chats is really getting to me and hitting me pretty bad. I want to hold you, rest my cheeks against yours, feel your hands on my body as I tell you how much I've missed you, your touch, your kisses, your blazing eyes, your full mouth, your laughter and mine. I want to take you out and buy you things. Hell, I'd even cook at home - I've only cooked bacon sandwees and instant noodles - but there are lots of easy recipes on the internet to whip something amazing up. I want to get you high on champagne and get us flying with girlie giggles and bubbly laughters as I tickle you on your funny spot (I know where it is). I want to keep you up all night and hear your whispers and moans close to my ears. I want to wake up next to you and I promise I won't stare if you are asleep (I know that makes you feel uncomfortable). I can't promise that I will be able to keep from waking you up though. Instead, I have my handphone charging up for our next phone call, my msn messenger online, and my private email checked every 3 hours...

Time has always been short but now its worse because I can never get enough time with you.

Happy Valentine's Day, darling.

the sweetest thing

2006-01-31T04:33:00.000+08:00

It's a beautiful crazy mixed up mess, remembering our beginning. I knew then that I was in a dangerous risk of having met someone I can't wait to see again. How she first held my hands in the street. It was sudden and sent a thousand thoughts running through my head. I didn't want to let go of the warmth of her fingers intertwined with mine but I did. I was afraid that I got it all wrong. She placed both her hands on my arm instead. In one single swoop, she turned my world upside down.

I remember trying to throw her off with some attempts at an irrelevant conversation and how she replied equally non-comittally, all the while walking closer to me. So close that our arms overlapped and our legs brushed against each other as we walked down the street. Then there were the calls, our little chats, a text message, anything that makes us invariably smile to ourselves. There was her, coming to my working room just to sit across at my table. We didn't even need to talk, she flipped a magazine and I fiddled with my work. All that time, we had a giddy smile on our faces. It's amazing how we can see it on each other. Even more amazing was the fact that I cared enough to attempt at keeping a distance and how she cared enough not to let that distance stay.

she's still numero uno

2005-12-13T11:26:00.000+08:00

Of course, no one will ever beat Milla Jojovich from my top spot.

There's just nothing like a chick with guns...

Come on, don't tell me that you don't find this picture hot.

Milla rules.

Kristin Kreuk

2005-12-13T11:07:00.000+08:00

Strange nuff, I kinda like Kristin Kreuk who plays Lana Lang in 'Smallville'. It's strange because she's totally off my typical 'crush' profile. Plus, I've gone through 3 whole seasons of Smallville in 3 weeks just for her.

I think I've been watching too much of the idiot box and not actually having a life. No more serials for me after I'm done with the 4th season! Other than The 'L' word, of course.

Anyways I still think she's hot, don't you?

A Gray Hair Day

2005-12-02T16:52:00.000+08:00

I woke up shattered this morning. It was the usual 'urgh, gotta get up early because of 8.30am meeting' woes until I face my twin in the mirror. A strand of shiny gray hair on the very top of my messy-had-a-sleepless-night hair, screamed 'Look at me! Look at me, you old hag!'. That woke me up faster than any Vietnamese coffee ever could.

Is this how the aiiiiige-ing process begins? This gray hair thingy is just an early warning sign. Symptoms that tell you that you are fast approaching your middle age. I'd got to admit that, for someone who usually couldn't care less, I'm taking this too personally and harshly. I can't help it. I could have sworn that my strand of gray hair was endlessly mocking and taunting me. It refused to lay low, even when I slopped a whole lot of water and hair cream, trying to push it down and hide it. It seems at ease playing the "Pop! goes the weasel' routine right on top of my curly black crown.

How could I not hate it? It craves attention when all I want to do is to turn a blind eye. It reminds me that soon wrinkles will follow. Long hard wrinkles at my forehead and then the corner of my eyes. Eventually, my hands and digits will slowly become wrinkly, hairy and spotty. Eughhh. And GASP! My breasts, which are my best-loved assets, will start to sag!

Fuck. I'm only 25 years old, aiiiight!?! That may be quarter of a century but that ain't so old!

I'm sooooo going to tweeze that attention-deficient, color-deficient strand of hair out tonight.

Someone, arrest me. I'm at a high risk of committing follicle homocide.

The eye patch and a missing barrel of rum

2005-11-12T16:03:00.000+08:00

I woke up 2 weekends ago with a little itch and sharp pain on my right eye. It was difficult to open my eyes - which is rather normal on the average mornings. I'm very much a night owl. My body mechanics tend to squeek and creak in the mornings before it gets properly oiled and running smoothly in the afternoon - I suppose that's a consequence of my 3 to 4am bedtime over many many years of my life.

Then I looked into the mirror *GASP* my right eye lids were totally swollen. It was horrid. I looked like a female and Chinese version of Quasimodo, minus the hunched back. I checked my bed and there was a dead tiny red bug in it. I tagged the miscreant bug guilty and since my body had already delivered street justice by squashing it to death in the depth of my sleep, I sentenced it to another death in the after life. I bagged the bug in a small plastic bag (who knows, the doctor may need to identify the bug in case I have an allergy towards it).

(Miserable me. I have a total aversion towards ill health and it always depresses me. Unfortunately, I do get sick rather easily so I'm always depressed.)

(I hate bugs!)

It was Saturday and with my looks in such horrible state, I decided to give my office my absence. 30 calls later from my office and 10 calls from my clients later, it became noon time and I decided to head off to a Chinese hospital for an examination.

The diagnosis was a bit of a mess. I lost my plastic bag containing the bugger insect. What's more, I couldn't speak mandarin very well and the doctor is a Chinese lady who speaks even less English. Probably I didn't make any sense to the doctor, even after 20 minutes of wild gesticulating, acting out the role of a hungry nasty bug that landed on an eyelid and some failed attempts at different Chinese dialects.

She gave me a bottle of eyedrops and lotion. Cool. And she ran off and got me a number of bandages to serve as an eye patch for my swollen eye. Excellent! Hehe.

I spent the rest of my next two days in my bedroom. There was not much to do, so I watched TV and acted out the part of Long John Silver with a white eye patch. Ho Ho Ho without a bottle of rum. I was bored. Very bored. I'm glad my eye's better now.

(This is how Long John Silver will look like if he's miserable)

(Oh well, at least the patch is cooling to my eye)

AND NO. THIS IS NOT MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME!

Mistaken identity

2005-11-11T15:43:00.000+08:00

I heard her sing again today. It had been more than two months since I saw and heard her sing last? Somehow, it is different this time. But tonight I felt... pulled towards her. Turned on, even. As I stole glimpses of her, I honestly couldn't tell why. I was also distracted that all my attempts to cheat a few peeks failed miserably. She has an uncanny knack at catching on me everytime I tried to.

She was as good a singer as she was the last time. She seemed to have more vocal flexibility now, she can sing to an amazing high pitch or maybe it's the first time I hear her sing that song that requires it. But I don't think that's the major factor that turned me on.

There's the way she throws out those sexy grooves effortlessy. I've always liked to look at women who could dance very well. But she was just as great the last time. She still sport those voluptious curves although she must have lost a little weight. Her face shows sharper features. And she had cut her hair short, keeping it spiky. Come to think of it. I seem to be falling for chicks with that hairstyle lately - my last two infatuations had that sort of hairdo. Yet, is it possible to get turned on by a woman just by the fact that she'd changed her hairstyle? Especially since I've seen her so many times in the past few months without?

I wonder...

Then a chance meeting with a friend explained it all too horribly well.

"Oh, you heard the new band already?"

"What new band?"

"The old band left for Langkawi. Now it's a new band playing"

"Oh yeah ka? It's been more than a month since I've been there so I didn't know"

"Ya. I asked you to come and listened to them play for the last time 2 weeks ago, but you couldn't make it, remember?"

"You didn't tell me it was their last time playing mah and I didn't feel up to drinking with you alcoholics"

Apparently, the band I used to listen to had left to Langkawi for their new gig. The singer I'm describing is not the same lady I was thinking of.

MY GOD, HOW COULD I BE SO OBTUSE?

O tempura, O mores, Idyllic holidays, where forth art thou?

2005-10-26T13:29:00.000+08:00

Work has been most distressing. Swamped with work and slowed down by a bad case of flu, I long for the days when I look like this, that and that other.

(Sun shining upon my face as I look out unto the temple grounds of Angkor Wat, 300 kilometers away from my staff and clients. Even when I feel homocidal after retrieving 30 calls in the morning, I get off scot free from murder, as I'm too far away to cause any bodily injuries)

(Lounging at a picnic restaurant in Preah Lip area, outskirts of Phnom Penh)

(It's a brilliant concept! Individual floating shacks ontop of the Bassaac River with 3 hammocks each. Idyllic, no?)

How has it been for you?

The relationship between knee injuries and casinos

2005-09-21T18:32:00.000+08:00

I went to see a client / friend to 'buaya' (Malay word for 'Crocodile', otherwise a colloquial slang for conning) him to accompany me for a massage therapy on my oh, so painful knee. After all, I know it's going to hurt a LOT, and I didn't want to cry all by myself.

Clearly, I didn't think about how embarrassing it would be to cry in front of my client / friend also...

Anyways, Dominic manages a slots gaming center which is nice, comfortable and with a contemporary luxurious ambience. He's also a cool guy, always calm and helpful with tips on smoking, drinking and gambling. So I went over to his gaming outlet and waited for him to get ready for the massage.

Unfortunately, my timing was bad as 12 new slots machines were just delivered to his centre. As I waited, I decided to play a game of digital roulette or two as it feels weird just sitting at the lounge twiddling my thumbs.

Plus I needed to turn my attention away from my injured knee and the thought of screaming at the unfortunate being who will be elected to massage it later on.

I won USD 60. Hehehe.

Pain forgotten!

Anyways, Dom is still kept busy with the new machines, so I'm off with my newly acquired wealth. YZ will be joining me for a pre-dinner massage instead.

Someone said I'm an old lady dee...

2005-09-21T16:13:00.000+08:00

In the interests of my good health, I've spent USD150 on a locally made bicycle machine that looks like it can withstand even a bomb attack. The machine itself is so sturdily made of steel, it is extremely heavy and I pitied the guys who had to carry it up to my apartment (this entails a long walk up along a spirally staircase 3 storeys high).

Anyways, so far it was a pretty good investment (at least I thought so!), I will ride it late at night while watching tv. And it works me out faster than the bike machine at my gym. In fact, while I could last for 40 minutes non-stop fast paced cycling at Clark Hatch, I was left panting after a mere 10 minutes on this bike. In fact, the first time I got on it, my heart started beating so fast and hard, I thought I was having a heart attack. What to do... I was too ambitious and maybe I thought I was in better shape. Haha.

So far, this bike had served as my hangover buster, and boy, it was effective. When I wake up with a hangover, I'll do a 10 to 15 minute cardiac cycling and the headache and nausea disappears. Great investment huh?

ANYWAYS BACK TO THE STORY
Just two nights ago, I went on my bike again. And as a result, I woke up today with a bloody bad knee injury. I walk with a limp now and I squirm each time I have to walk up / down the stairs. Imagine, I have to walk down 3 storeys to and fro my apartment alone...

Angling for some sympathy, I went to tell my colleague about it. The celaka fella said "You think you are still young ka? You are an old lady already la! Haha. Exercise exercise."

TIU!

Anyways, as I'm not too proud to vouch for sympathy votes, so please vote me off the earth at Afundi Angkasawan.

In space, I don't have to worry about climbing stairs... And a non-gravitational environment can slow the process of aging, especially sagging boobs.

The Ming on the Moon

2005-09-21T11:16:00.000+08:00

Dear all nice people who read my multiply postings,

The time has come to announce that I'm so on air on the Affundi Angkasawan site now.

Vote me off to space, so I can wreck equal havoc there!

Remember again vote for Angkasawan Ming and you will have many happy feelings!!

KaYel KaYel! I'm coming back!

2005-09-19T13:12:00.000+08:00

I'll be back in Malaysia on the 27th Sept till 9th Oct. Can't wait. I miss my friends and food oh glorious food! I wanna go C|ubbing and I wanna go movie watching at proper cineplexes.

I wanna party BIG time at Velvet U___ground. Space out @ Lunar Bar. Poppy woppy. Blubbering at La Bodega. I'm gonna shop BIG in REAL shopping MALLS - rake up 100 clothes in 30 minutes that sorta thing.

I wanna eat bah kut teh in Klang, char koay teow in SS2, indomee goreng at Paramount Garden, hokkien mee at Petaling Street, prawn mee back in my hometown, foei gras at Cafe Cafe, nasi kandar in Penang, mamak oh mamak, nasi lemak everymorning at
anywhere really.

| miss mah |i| nephew, Mack the knife. And I wanna get him some toy cars. he's my current man and I wanna kiss him all over! I'm considering giving him my mini cooper cushiony huggies thingies that he and I love so much. I wanna drink a bottle of Dom Perignon with my big sister and get her high and all giglies. I wanna get my dad and mom gifts but I dunno what yet.

DIDYA HEAR THE WORDS I'M TYPING OUT RITE NOW?
I'M COMING BACK 27th SEPT TILL 9th OCT.

aRe yOu PeoPle GAME?

The Malaysian on the Moon: Part II

2005-09-19T12:51:00.000+08:00

Found a link to this blog by a blogger called idlan zakaria who took the 'Malaysian on the Moon' to its second phase. Idlan created a website called Afundi Angkasawan that allows audiences the chance to vote for their favorite astronauts wannabee. Of course, her site is not affliliated to any space programme, Malaysian or the other.

It's a great satire on the joke we call 'Vision 2010: The Malaysian on the Moon' or more appropriately 'Vision 2010: The Malaysian sipping teh tarik and eating roti canai on the Moon'.

Check it out and cast a vote! Idlan had after all pledged to contribute a minimum RM5 plus 1 sen for each votes casted to charity. At least some money goes to improving some other people's lives (unlike the $25million spent to hitch a ride to space).

I love the pics of the astronaut wannabees there. I'm trying to enlist myself as well. It's only the RIGHT patriotic thing to do.

I'd bet if they found the polling concept embedded in the Afundi Angkasawan site, the people who hold the seats to the power of deciding which lucky (but still unfit) Malaysian gets bumped up to the Moon, would knock their heads against the wall, crying 'oh why didn't I think about that? Mengapa tak difikirkan itu? Boleh SMS contest somemore. Banyak duit tu. TV spots. Publicity untuk karier saya. Mengapa mengapa?'

*** extra ideas branstormed in my multiply blog during lunch, Cambodian time on 20 Sept 2005 ***

Come to think of it - they really never bothered exploring what other ways to generate a sustainable revenue to further grow and market the space programme.

Think TV and SMS polls, think advertising dollars, think of a whole new TV programme dedicated to showing the potential candidates at their... gee, i dunno... trials and triumphs. We can either do a real life show based on each potential candidates or do something more dazzy - like the apprentice or survivor.

Each candidate that got kicked out can stand under a mock space shuttle and get snuffed from the exhaust fire. (In his words, a friend of mind commented on my multiply blog, 'That is brilliant! I would pay good money to watch that show! I'd enjoy watching the losers screaming and flailing their arms while covered in flames.'). I probably would too.

I think it would be a fun TV show - the kind that we can actually sell the rights to broadcast in regional TV channels. See?

Imagine the merchandising! Small space shuttle jet-flame lighters, with accompanying candidate keychains. If they get kicked out, owners can have the satisfaction of snuffing them out individually!

We can also sell the bigger replicas of the interior sections of the space shuttle (like play house barbie thingy) and have the Malaysian hero/heroine figurine (of the final elected candidate) eating his nasi lemak and teh tarik. The type of figurine which when they makan, the food comes right out from their behind. Then toy owners can have the pleasure to meddle with the human waste vacuum thingy within the toy space shuttle, to make sure our Malaysian astronaut figurine do not make a mess. Kids / adults would love that sort of thing! I know I would. I'm sure a few of my notty friends would love the novelty.

Want me to come up with a proper marketing plan? E-mail me and let's discuss this - especially reimbursement for my part as a consultant. Oh, I want a ride to space too. I can actually run 3.5km under 20 mins flat and I have an IQ of 127. I'm also anak Bangsa Malaysia.

If you are reading this blog, please don't vote yet. Wait till my profile and picture is up on the Afundi Angkasawan site. Then vote me away from earth so that I can wreck equal havoc in space.

A Malaysian on the Moon?

2005-09-19T12:39:00.000+08:00

I read this article from BBC in regards to

Malaysia

's plans to send a Malaysian to the moon by 2020. As you all already know, we had that elimination round of fitness tests. I'm not sure what else will entail, as I've only read snippets of stories on this topic.

Here's the article, before I go into further elaborations into what I think.

Malaysia has high hopes for moon
By Jonathan Kent
BBC News, Kuala Lumpur (Sunday, 28 August 2005, 05:23 GMT 06:23 UK)

Malaysia has announced that it hopes to put a man on the moon by the year 2020 as part of its $25m space programme.

The Science and Technology Minister, Jamaludin Jarjis, said he would be presenting a plan to the cabinet.

Mr Jarjis says the country needs to build up a pool of trained astronauts in preparation.

But such dreams were almost immediately called into question when the first batch of would-be space explorers struggled with a simple fitness test.

Mission not-impossible

Malaysia is a nation of seemingly limitless ambition.

Having already built what were the world's tallest buildings, it must seem only a short hop from there to the moon.

But there are still serious obstacles to overcome.

On Saturday, the first group from a shortlist of more than 800 would-be astronauts set out to run 3.5km (two miles) in a leisurely 20 minutes.

All were hoping to claim Malaysia's seat on a Russian-led space mission, scheduled for 2007.

But only 12 out of 31 taking part passed the test.

Some observers wondered whether their performance might be linked to the local diet.

Earlier this year, the country announced a programme to put Malaysia's favourite foods into space.

A team is to be sent to Houston in Texas to find out how to process teh tarik (sweet tea), roti canai (flaky griddled pancakes) and nasi lemak (coconut rice) for consumption in zero gravity.

All are absolutely delicious, but rather fattening.

However, no one should write off Malaysia's chances of achieving its latest goal.

The country has transformed itself from a largely rural society to a high-tech led economy in just 20 years, and refuses to believe that any mission is impossible.

It was quite a hilarious article, isn't it? But heck, if you were Mr Kent, how else would you have angled the story?

First of all, why do we bother spending taxpayer’s money to send someone to the Moon? Mr Jarjis says the country needs to build up a pool of trained astronauts in preparation. To what objective? To complete a scientific field of study that will be aided by a non-gravity environment? I didn't read anything about that... only about sending someone up there, which will cost us taxpayers $25 million dollars.

Want to develop our own space programme? What space programme? We are not even working towards building our own spacecraft / astronomical studies / space-aided biomedical studies / engineering / etc etc and more etc. What’s the point of having a pool of astronauts if we didn’t have any higher level of objective for them – other than getting there to plant our Jalur Gemilang on the surface of the moon and enjoy the view of Earth from the moon.

Oh, so we can earn bragging rights from this? Tell me, what can we boast about? That we managed to send our astronaut into the moon in year 2020 when it has been done in 1969 in Neil Amstrong's and Buzz Aldrin's landing? Let’s get to speed with the fact that Moon-landing is so passé now – other people are aiming to go to Mars already lar. Alamak, get up to speed already lah. How many astronauts have gone there since 1969? It will only prove one thing - that it takes Malaysians 51 years to play catch up, and even that we only achieved it hitching a ride on a Russian-led space mission? Any other nations can do that – pay a big sum to Russia, USA, China for a seat in their spacecraft. What satisfaction can we get by bragging about that?

What we have done so far is already feeder to nasty mean jokes. I mean take a look at the results from the first test. Our Malaysian shortlist of space traveler wannabes struggled with running 3.5 km in 20 minutes. Who the fuck did we shortlist anyway? I mean, ordinary old me can cycle about 10 miles in 25 minutes (that’s 17.5km) – the bicycle machine at the gym records my distance. And that I assume, is lousy time, coz I only make it to the gym once a month and I read a book as I cycle some more. If I were a shortlisted candidate, I will definitely start working towards qualifying for this opportunity to go into space – which means I have to prop myself up on basic astronaut know-how first and then get into REAL shape. I will even quit smoking. Of our shortlisted astronauts (who should be the cream of the crop Malaysians), only 12 made the time. I hide my face in shame.

What about that total bullshit about sending a team to Houston to find the means of processing the tarik, roti canai and nasi lemak for consumption in space? What’s the idea? To find out the effects of tasting roti canai in zero gravity? Or better yet, are we going set up Mamak stalls in space when space travel becomes a viable option for rich travelers sick of holidaying on earth? Now, our astronauts are already finding out that running a 3.5km stretch is a real struggle, better keep them in shape and feed them salad instead. If they eat more roti canai and nasi lemak, we’ll have to worry about fitting them into the spacesuits as well or gasp, “Houston, we have a problem. Our Malaysian colleague is suffering from flatulence due to the Nasi Lemak – methane content in our atmosphere is staggeringly increasing… Can’t breathe…”

Don’t forget as well that 2020 is 15 years away – so remember to profile the aging process when we select our ONE astronaut who will make it up there.

Am I shooting down lofty aims of our nation’s vision to get to the Moon? Yes, I am. Full heartedly. Passionately. Stanchly. Dutifully gunning this idea down. I’m a citizen of Malaysia and I feel that there are other more important and celebrated programmes that can serve more pragmatic and necessary purposes for my beloved Malaysia.

We can well spend the money and more for a viable education system whereby all schools, both urban and rural, have enough budget for complete libraries, computer labs and science labs. Higher paid teachers and better training for the teaching profession to better educate our young Malaysians, so that they can be true leaders / contributors to our nation in the future.

I see subsidized petrol for the consumption by our hard-pressed Malaysian wage earners. I see better road / transportation systems – where traffic problems can be improved and where bridges do not collapse.

I see better public health care, where Malaysians who cannot afford privatized medical care can still be taken care of professionally and skillfully. I see better government aid for our nation’s poor. I see the money going into technological R&D for IT, telecommunications, biotechnological and medical science. I see more seed and land subsidies for our farmers.

I see better paid and trained public servants, so that at least they would work slightly better to serve the public. I even see the budget going to our anti-corruption agencies so they can intensify their investigations and monitoring. I see better paid traffic cops so that next time I get stopped by the cops, at least it’s because I actually broke the traffic law, not for some half-baked excuse to get my RM50.

There are much more that I can add to the list. But I’m sickened by this all.

Let me just add one little request. Layan me, please. The ‘space programme budget’ has already been allocated and everything is going on (as planned?) – so it’s not like we citizens of Malaysia can do anything about this. I ask that we keep this ‘space programme’ thingamajig low profile (especially about the future test results and the part about our Malaysian food) ok? At least, we can keep our malu-factor to a bearable minimum la.

Forget the moon, we can't even get our feet planted solidly on the ground.

Artwork by Ibrahim Hussein (Malaysian)

Title of artwork: My Father and The Astronaut, 1969, Artist’s Collection

Medium and size: Oil on canvas, 186 X 127 cm

Don't keep it all bottled up

2005-09-08T14:21:00.000+08:00

That's the words coming from Henry, my gorgeous 'gay boyfriend'. Somehow, it took him 2 short "hello and goodbye" msn chats to see that I'm kind of edgy. Henry, I love you for being able to see through me so easily. I wish we could meet up when I go back to Malaysia this September for a visit though.

It's true. Maybe I have. I'm getting increasingly nervy since I came to Cambodia. My muscles get tensed rapidly, and I feel the battery acid clogging my arterial heart. My heartbeat accelerates and a loud thumping starts beating at my temples. Soon, heat rises from the insides of my stomach and abuses my lungs. Just a couple of times, I actually had to consciously control my breathing before anger catches control of myself.

I hate this... this misdirection of my energy (See how I inadverdently use another negative term to describe what I feel?).

I used to have an elastic tolerance - it spelled my survival and triumph through years of intensive advertising work in KL. In fact, I thrived under pressure and stress and it pushes me towards action.

This is all new for me. This is all so old to me.

And it's such a stupid situation to be in. The management is happy with my handling of the office here. My staff is slowly getting their act together (albeit extremely slowly). My clients are very happy with the work we are churning out. In fact, I've stopped myself from calling or meeting up with clients at times, because it seems as though each time I popped into their office for a simple hi, I end up with an additional project (both small or large scaled). Unfortunately, these are cautionary measures because I'm of the opinion that my staff are unable to cope at the moment.

I push myself too much. My problem is I feel like I must prevail in every situation, especially in my work. I put too much of myself in my work. I need to prove something - I'm no sure as to what or to whom. Maybe, it's just to myself.

There. It's difficult to admit it. I'm my own worst enemy.

I feel worn and torn all over. And I'm angry about letting myself fall into this trap.

Should I enrol in a flight school?

2005-09-02T15:01:00.000+08:00

Found this advertisement for flight school. An introductory lesson, most likely on the Cessna, is being priced at USD60. Should I attempt to learn how to fly? Do you think they let flight students jump off the plane mid air with a parachute so I can try BOTH flying and sky diving at the price of one? Of course, I'll leave the instructor inside to land the plane. ;)

It's weird when you think about it

2005-09-02T12:30:00.000+08:00

If there are 7 days to a week and 52 weeks to a year, where did the extra day go? I mean there are 365 days right? Would we begin the year with the extra day that is unaccounted for and end the year with that day? Or does that day just creep up somewhere in the mid year without us noticing?

Isn't it weird? Or is it weirder that I just suddenly thought about this? I won't be able to sleep tonight till I find out the answer. If you know, tell me. My eyebags will thank you for it.

Feeling the 'Merdeka' spirit

2005-09-01T13:30:00.000+08:00

I thoroughly enjoyed yesterday (Malaysia's Independence Day). I'm glad. I've felt so totally relaxed, and although I'm not without any cares in the world, I've at least for one whole day, managed to keep all worries at the back of my mind.

At a time when I've basically publicly announce that I would probably never to go back to Malaysia to work and live again, it is great that I've not lost my 'Merdeka' spirit.

After all, any relief after a stressful 2 weeks and sufferable insomnia for the past 2 1/2 weeks is cause for celebration indeed.

How did I celebrate this year's Merdeka in Phnom Penh? Read it in my multiply journal here.

I'm glad for this uncanny ability to celebrate anything. To me, everything / anything can be a cause for total celebrations.

Just last week, I felt like having pizza and boy did I turn it into a pizza extravaganza. I ended up buying 2 medium pizzas for myself and some friends, 1 for my driver, 1 for the auntie who cleans my rooms and another for my Chinese tutor. Everyone had to have pizza!

It's probably my restless way of countering my negative side - I think and worry too much.

I did not suffer from insomnia at all last night ! That was priceless!

Selamat Merdeka, Malaysia!

2005-09-01T13:26:00.000+08:00

Happy Merdeka!

I love you I love you I do Malaysia!

Shanghai Mui

2005-09-01T13:19:00.000+08:00

All dressed up for the MBCC's dinner function to celebrate Malaysia's Independence Day, I look like a Shanghai Mui here, don't I?

Very prim & proper. Probably armed with a whip.

Dropped all my baggage and jumped out the window

2005-08-19T16:51:00.000+08:00

These days I've been busy settling to a new life and with my multiply account up and active, I haven't been writing much to this blog at all. There are many blank details to fill in here, since my Engine Wash Experience in KL. I don't know how to start.

In fact, I've not really spent much time thinking of it really. Totally focused on my job and the business I'm managing.

I've actually left Kuala Lumpur, which has been my home for the last 7 years to work in an outdoor advertising company in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. The last week in KL was such a mess and hassling - working in the KL headquarters of my new company, packing my stuff, saying goodbyes & saying more goodbyes. It's not like I'm gone for good. Haha. But maybe it is. I don't see myself going back to Malaysia to work, live, and be buried.

Some of my friends have became closer friends and even now, we keep in close touch - chatting and emailing everyday. Tempers flared with a very close friend of 7 years, and we have not spoken since.

Life seems strange sometimes, doesn't it? Now that I'm in a strange country, however, it does not seem so. Life's a journey, where you pick up stuff on your way, be it memories or tangible items. You walk through endless corridors with many doors - at times you will be forced to go through certain doors, at times you get to choose. When the doors open, you choose to keep whatever you've found in the room you are in or leave it there.

Having said that, 2 months ago, I've dropped all my life's baggage and instead of going through a door, literally chose to jump through a window. I'm in Cambodia (a new country), doing a new work, living a new life, finding new friends, learning a new language or two (Mandarin & Cambodian Khmer), and other 'new' stuff that comes along.

No one said it would be easy. Time will see how this goes.

Temple Burn-Out at Angkor Wat, Siem Reap

2005-08-16T13:06:00.000+08:00

I've finally completed my photo journal on my visits to the glorious temples in Siem Reap - this is a huge achievement, seeing that I've procrastinated over a month to get it done.

It was quite a lot of work (or rather typing ;)) done, as I've put in individual narratives for each photos that I've taken. Of course, I ended up slashing the no. of pictures drastically. I shot around 400 hi-res images. Of the total amount, I've shortlisted it down to nearly 50 images.

Click here to see my photo journal.

What would you have for breakfast?

2005-08-15T16:36:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I blogged here - I've been writing all kinds of crap in my multiply website (click here). It has photo albums and all that I really like. But that has always been planned as my public site and this, I'm turning into my private blog (so shhhh). *Wink*

I'll start jotting out more of my thoughts here from now on.

By the way, today as I was ordering my breakfast of luncheon sandwich, the waitress suddenly said "when you smile, you look very beautiful". I made her repeat that again. Hehe. It was a happy moment, and I quickly regained some the chemistry I've lost - all from staying in a country where I'm rather deprived of sex.

"Am I going back to my waitress worship phase?"

Who would have ever though that luncheon sandwich breakfast could ever be so pleasing?

A classic poem

2005-05-23T15:16:00.000+08:00

The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are! What a beautiful Pussy you are!"

Fuck Engine Wash

2005-05-18T01:28:00.000+08:00

Delegation of work never works out well at times. At least this is what I learnt when I sent my car out for a car wash.

It was a spontaneous decision too. I was at Low Yatt to buy more geek crap for my nerd gear (laptop and phone affectionately named Milla). It was tough to find a parking, and there was this sweet spot at the car wash. Heck, why not? They charged RM160 for wash, polish & wax. The guy offered me RM150, with an engine wash thrown in. I don't know what engine wash entails, but hey, it seemed like a good deal. PLUS, I reeeeeallly needed to get my car cleaned up and I reeeeeeally need a parking spot. Car was squeaky clean. Seriously, I was a fucking pleased carnivourous homo sapiens when I saw it.

It was only much later during a traffic jam that I realised that the gear changes unevenly - causing the car to 'jump' or do the 'halt' then 'bolt' thingy many a times during the gear shift. I don't know what term you use to describe that (I'm no mechanic goddarn it!). Anyways, I didn't have to be a mechanic to 'feel' that something is wrong but I didn't associate it with the car wash. Silly me.

Next morning before I had to drive back to my hometown (estimated 340km drive), I went to a local mechanic to check the problem. He opened the hood, saw the squeaky clean engine and eureka! Next thing I know, the computer had to be replaced. With some mounting stuff or the other. Obviously, I couldn't drive home then coz it sure seemed like my car's gonna be stuck in the mechanics for some time. Hence, I had to rush to the airport and catch a flight back to my hometown. Had to repack my stuff somemore (coz I had a lot of dirty laundry. Back to hometown ma. heh).

STRIKE 1: The car wash people screwed up the electronics
Cheebai car wash motherfuckers didn't cover up the electronics when they washed the fucking engine. If they didn't know how to, they shouldn't have fucking offered. I would have settled for a wash, polish & wax even without the fucking engine wash.

Conclusion: Sometimes, you should never leave manual labor to other people.

STRIKE 2: Everyone seems to know that you are not supposed to get an engine wash
And boy, was I not in the grapevine. And I HAD to live with the 'Everyone knows what that you are NOT supposed to...'.

Conclusion: I should subscribe to a mailing list on stuff like this.

STRIKE 3: I had to get myself a Proton Waja 1.8L in the first place

Cheebai car wasn't designed properly lar. Place the fucking computer within the dashboard, you car design people you.

Conclusion: A Waja with a Renault engine is still a Proton. Or worse, because it costs so much more when it breaks down. And that is quite often.

STRIKE 4: TOTAL REPAIR BILL COSTS RM5,500!
Cheebai. Cheebai. Cheebai. This does not even include my flight tickets back home.

Conclusion: I need a sugarmommy/anybody. Just gimme a platinum credit card with no credit limit, I'll love you loooooong time.

WHAT I LEARNT FROM THIS ALL

Engines are engines and it doesn't matter if they are dirty. After all, they are hidden within the hood. Only your mechanics get to see it, so why bother washing it?
There's nothing like a free lunch. When you get freebies with something you purchase, RUN! It's a trap, I tell you.
Don't buy a Proton. Especially when it comes with a better engine. Let's face it, the best twin whatever turbo engine would not be at its best with a crappy design. But call me if you wanna buy my car coz I want to sell it. Got new computer for the gears whatever somemore.
It is vital to have good friends like the ones I do. I'm sure after they read this blog, they will be busy calling me - to fork the mechanic bill, buy me dinner, buy me that digital SLR camera (which I will have to sacrifice from buying coz the budget will go to the car), or even buy me the new PlayStation Portable and massage my back while I'm playing with it. Muacks.

Lookie

2005-05-09T02:26:00.000+08:00

A post!

Haha, im such a lazy bugger.

Flight weary

2005-04-22T16:58:00.000+08:00

I'm so cranky right now as I'm typing this out in the iConnect lounge at Changi Airport. How come I'm there? Because a major fucked up courier company did not send out a vital package and I have to end up doing high-level despatch crap.

I would have jumped at the opportunity for a free holiday from work, but as it works out - everything about this major parcel is jinxed as hell.

STRIKE 1:
First, I had to wake up at 5.30am (YES BLOODY FIVE THIRTY AAAAA EMMMM!) to guarantee that I catch the 8.05 am MAS flight which I had no tickets for.

STRIKE 2:
Making there in good time, I was just about to aboard the damn aircraft (MH609) when they announced that (quote) "something is wrong with the plane" (unquote). That is very assuring, coming from a MAS ground crew. Like hell, my flight looks like it's gonna be delayed - and they are giving the impressing that "something is reeeeally wrong with the damn plane".

Never mind. I'm a cool cucumber. So I asked the crew when they think they will get the plane up and running... a nice calm question which they chose to ignore!

STRIKE 3:
I HATE being ignored. But then comes the gooooood part.

STRIKE 4:
The PA announcement came on... "Flight MH609 has been delayed and is scheduled to depart at 10.00am". Fuck hell. I'm here for 8am flight with a meeting at 9.30am and they gotta screw up their plane so bad that it can only fly at 10.fucking.00.am?

Nooooo problem. I may be slightly pissy now but I'm still a resourceful chick.

I asked to be transfered to the SQ flight. Which departs in... 5 minutes. I ran to the gate. And go there with a mob behind me hoping to catch the flight too. All the time I was queuing up, I had my fingers crossed that there's enuff seats. If I was a guy, my balls would have tightened to the size of mere prunes!

I managed to cinch me a spot on the plane. I was so pleased with my self. (BIG GRIN).

STRIKE 5:
8.20am passed by... then 8.45am passed by and the plane ain't shifting anywhere. I was shuffling nervously and kept bugging the stewardess. I think that's why I've been kinda thirsty the whole day...

STRIKE 6:
8.55am. The plane slowly moved towards the runway. YES OH YES!

9.05am came along and there was an announcement 'We have a slight problem with headcount. The flight will resume immediately after this is sorted out. Thank you'.

9.15am. 2nd announcement 'We will be returning to the gate to re-do the headcount. We regret the inconvenience.'. I helped them end the announcement with a loud 'YOU MUST BE JOKING!'.

STRIKE 7:

9.45am. Woman sitting beside me asked to be let out. She figured it's no longer worth her while to fly to Singapore when her meeting is at 10.00am. I slept. Must be the stress.

10.00am. I woke up. Looked out at the window. Saw a patch of green. Woah! we are flying. YAY!

10.01am. Realized that it's just the grass near the runway. I slept again.

10.15am. We flew. Another announcement came along talking about incovenience, security risks, yadda yadda. I slept again.

Rushed to the post house for the meeting. And after that, went to the Euro RSCG regional office for a short while. I didn't stay too long. Was too cranky. Decided to leave early and drop by and see my nephew Ken Hon. Saw him for about 20 mins and had to rush back to the airport to catch the earliest flight home @ 5.35pm.

STRIKE 8:
I checked into the shuttle and found out it got delayed for 1 hour.

Sigh. This... is the story of my life.

And I'm here in Changi, typing this shite out. And I'm gonna log off now. And go get me a beer.

Ming Methodology for Tactics of Survival

2005-04-20T12:44:00.000+08:00

I'm suddenly dragged by this new project from the regional office in Singapore for a pitch presentation in 2 DAYS time. Deadline: today. DAMNED FOOLS.

These 'sudden tensed-filled moments to-show-my-quality' calls for my 'emergency-panic-button' for quirky ideas and eccentric analysis methods that somehow comes together in results that are enlightening and perception-changing.

Switching on 'Ming Methodology for Tactics of Survival' now:

Step 1. Think of everything else other than work at hand.

Example of thoughts:
Ming: Women are unpredictable, fickle and indecisive creatures. Frankly speaking, they are just crazy.
Ming: I sometimes think they aren't worth the hassle.
Ming: But now to think of it, you never really realize how useful they are until they go down on you.

Ok I admit. The above is slightly 'off-tangent'. But it's sooo fahnie and distracts me for at least 5 minutes.

Step 2. Doodle.

Step 3. Write blogs like this one.

Step 4. Smoke.

Step 5. Look at watch.

Step 6. Bug Phoebe for coffee.

Step 7. Think about what to write for next step.

Step 8. Twiddle thumb.

Step 9. Watch the clock.

Step 10. There's no step 10! (Other than throwing myself off my office building).

Step 11. Start typing anything furiously on my PC and hopefully, my subconcious (my genius half of my brain) would send some free-association ideas my way.

Movie Marathon

2005-04-20T01:09:00.000+08:00

Been having insomnia for quite a while. It's nuts. I sleep like a pig during weekends.

12.00 midnite.

Opened an online album of my nephew Kenzie. He's so adorable. I should meet him up soon. Especially before I leave for Cambodia. It would suck if I return one day and he goes 'Yee Yee (auntie) WHO?'. Nah, no way. This kid's smart. Takes it from his auntie Ming. Hehe.

1.10am.

Have just watched 'Coffee & Cigarettes' for the second time. It's an excellent series of vignettes of different people sipping their coffee and smoke, talking. A different angle of how simple life is - yet how extraordinary and addictive. See the trailer here.

1.14am. Still early...

Slipped this anime, 'Tokyo Godfathers' into my DVD-ROM and it did not work.

1.17am. damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn

1.20am. Tried another anime, 'Appleseed'. It works! Ciao.

1.24am. Remembered to publish post. Luuuuuuucky I never just alt-F4 ed the explorer page. Hehe.

Nicky painted my portrait: Awww So Sweet

2005-04-07T12:21:00.000+08:00

It is extremely inaccurate and ummm unskilled.

But since Nicky is standing next to me while I'm writing this, I'll say I think it's soooooo sweet and adorable of him to do that.

Check it out below (you can click here to get to Nicky's rendition of me)

Goin El Loco over Berocca

2005-04-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

Geez, I sure haven't been bloggin lately. Gotten damn busy over work the last few weeks. I was in sheer HELL I tell ya!

Then I found this miraculous thingy called 'Berocca'. It's this tube of energy tablets and boy oh boy, do they work! A specific combination of B Group Vitamins and Vitamin C, enhanced with calcium, magnesium & zinc, these tablets really fucking ZINGS you up, man! In fact, when I had one after another, my hands literally started to shake.

Fucking A!

It says on the tube 'A daily Berocca Performance is the healthy way to bring out your natural bounce & get the most out of everyday'. Oh yeah. Beats Tongkat Ali anytime!

I wonder if there's a maximum level of dose for these things...

*Pops a tablet into a glass of water and waits while it dissolves* GRIN

My 'other' blog - http://laddysappho.multiply.com

2005-03-29T00:39:00.000+08:00

Yep. I've started another blog coz I needed the photo album. Plus, Cass bugs me about it.

So there I have it. I've also added a link to it on my left navi-bar, right under the tagboard.

My Cambodian Experiences

Enter Photo album

Anyways, I'm still gonna keep this blog anyways. The other one is open to public (meaning my parents, sis-es, bros, cousins, etc will know about that blog). But not this one. GRIN.

Woah, momma! My glasses grew wings!

2005-03-29T00:26:00.000+08:00

Hehe, I stucked some wing shaped stickers unto my glasses. So cute!

Ah hum, anyways, check out my tyre pics. As I've last posted, it got punctured 2 Fridays ago.

Never knew it got that bad. There were more holes on the inside!

The damned mechanics charged me RM385 in total to replace ONE bloody tyre. Now my friends told me I can get new tyres for RM250 max each. Cheebai!

My blog got 'gangsta-rized' pulak

2005-03-25T17:07:00.000+08:00

I'm stressed. And I need to let off da steam. Layan me. Deal wit' it. ;)

I don't know... seems like my 'tizzle' is sumthing that a G-thang to bastardized.

Check it out, yo!
http://sites.gizoogle.com/?url=http://sapphosmuse.blogspot.com/

Aight.

Blog it Like it's Hot

2005-03-23T10:15:00.000+08:00

Cass, this mp3 is dedicated to you!
Sel, you too, because you rajin update your blog. Haha.

When the geeks try to get it to you,
Gotta know it's hot, gotta know it's hot,
If a blogger gets attitude,
Put it in my blog, Put it in my blog...

Listen to the spoof here
Blog it like it's hot
by Eric SchwartzDescription:
Parody of "Drop it like its hot" by SnooooP and Pharrell

Useless fact of the day [though the below may come in handy]:
The Chinese, in olden days, used marijuana only as a remedy for dysentery.

My tyre was pornolized too!

2005-03-19T21:11:00.000+08:00

It was Friday night, I had anticipated a night of fun while I was driving home (estimated time: 10.35pm)...

As I passed the Sri Hartamas, the radio was playing a Nelly song that I love where the main chorus of the lyrics repeat 'over and over again', I heard this thumping noise thats gradually getting louder... over... and over again!

I slowed down and speeded up. And DAMN, I realised that my damned tyre must have punctured.

I kept on driving home anyways.

Next morning I checked - the tyre didn't just puncture. It had totally exploded on one side. Geee...

I've been stuck at home whole day coz I ain't got a working car.

So I slept.

Now, I'm blogging.

My blog has been pornolized!

2005-03-19T21:06:00.000+08:00

And somehow I likes!

Check it out here http://pornolize.com/pornolize4?lang=en&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsapphosmuse.blogspot.com&submit=submit.

Must see for some good laughs. Haha, you can pornolise other websites too (it's fahnie when you try it with websites from big corporations / government websites / yadda).

Salted cured prunes and work

2005-03-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

I'm at work. I'm at work and I'm surrounded by pregnant (wannabe) colleagues. I'm surrounded by pregnant (wannabe) colleagues who are suddenly addicted to Salted Cured Prunes.

Yes, I'm talking about the 'asam' thingies. They just keep popping these nasty sour suckers into their mouth like lumps of sugar you sometimes munch in your mouth. Nicky is especially bad, as he keeps a half kilogram pack, within easy reach on his table.

I checked the label on the pack. Doesn't seem like there's any additives but wow, it's amazing that something with so little 'junk' ingredients can incur craving among the office.

Ingredients:
Prunes
Salt
Sugar
Liquorice

[At time of writing, Nicky had popped a couple of these tastebud numbing nuts]

corrupting my cousin at luna bar

2005-03-04T01:39:00.000+08:00

Sorry, there seems to be some technical issues with the photo imaging or linking. I'm just too lazy to fix it or create a proper photo album site. I will fix it eventually when I

stop procrastinating eventually
have time to actually rectify this matter in my busy schedule of hedonistic pleasure and masochistic work hours
find someone nice and sweet enough to do everything for me, even updating my blog!
realize I have only a week to go before leaving for Cambodia [yikes!]
when I quit writing stoopid reasons why I will only fix it later in the future when I could have probably done it already by the time I finish writing this.

"Me and Swee"
Took my cousin, Swee to Luna last night. Warm night, but good company: Cassie, [Hell]en, Nicky, CK and Abner (I'd always thought his name was Aaron).

Didn't get much corruption done, tho we managed to finish the bottle of whisky. Nicky, of course, helped with the mixers (he gets sugar high from coke).

Nemind. I've still got till Monday to fully corrupt my cousin.

And NO! I DO NOT LOOK LIKE MY COUSIN.

I'm hotter.

Grin.

"Nicky, Me and Cassie: ARGHHHHH!"

"No. It's not what you think. It's just clever camera angling"

"Was so happy that Helen is back so tried to kiss her. Resulted in rejection... BIG time. Blerks."

Milla, my new love

2005-03-02T01:06:00.000+08:00

Harrow harrow...

Yes... For all you people who knew 'Jolie' well, she had been more than a laptop to me. After all, she deserves being more, she has touch screen for god's sake! And she had given me pleasures aplenty and yadda. The only time she had left me frustrated was when the battery life started fucking up - and that was wholly my fault.

Jolie, you would always be my first choice [never hesitated when buying you - I knew it was you I had to get from the very first look].

Anyways, I've finally bought a new laptop after having undergone some pangs of guilt about being an infidel adulterer... And she is a beauty. Totally retro and totally cool. She has that look that makes you turn your head - I think its her widehead [screen], the way she carries herself [with the black inner surface], and the really great net sound-emitting stockings she has on her body [the harman/kardon speakers]. She has buttons I can't help but wanna press [retro rounded up, down, left & right keys]. Reads and writes DVD like it's what she's born for.

Let's forget the headache I'd gone through to decide that she's the Milla I've been waiting for. Or how I had frustrated everyone, including my sis, close friends, colleagues and strangers, who insisted I get this Milla as opposed to my first choice - the Sony Vaio A19, who I felt had the better curves.

I admit I was damn superficial the way I defended the Sony Vaio, but man, she was the Cadillac of laptops. Anyways the die is cast, I've bought the hp dv1103ap - she feels comfortable and definitely less heavy and not so high-maintanence.

Milla, welcome to my world.

I would have uploaded her pic but I don't have the right program installed here so I'll just carry on procrastinating.

Enough with the geek talk. I'll put up a pic of Jolie and Milla, my two laptops, when I blog next.

Matta Fair, March 2005

2005-03-02T01:02:00.000+08:00

Its on the 11-13th March.

I need to buy a Free & Easy package to Jakarta. Have already promised Henry that I'll go meet him there. If not, he'll kidnap me. ;)

Cass, wanna go?

Let's look into Shanghai too. Xitiandi is ONE nightscene you gotta check out. Plus Shanghainese chicks and guys are damn chun!

Of course, I'm hoping to be able to book straight from the travel agent myself.

birthday aftermath: my rightie

2005-02-21T00:31:00.000+08:00

birthday aftermath: The bruise on my rightie looks like an apple toffee... the kind that went bad. It's scary huge. Can't remember how I got it though. Probably from multiple concussions when my leg hit the table in Bar Savanh (during the 'few' times I hopped on it). I look like an abused child.

Cover Page from The Guardian UK, Dec 29, 2004

birthday aftermath: my leftie

2005-02-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

birthday aftermath: the damage to my left leg. looks like i'm gonna be in long pants for the next 2 weeks

Cover Page from The Guardian UK, Dec 29, 2004

bar savanh: the birthday aftermath

2005-02-21T00:18:00.000+08:00

Harrow. My name is Ming and I've got a HUGE hangover. I'm also totally in love with my friends.

You guys are such sneaky scammers! I can't believe I didn't even get a whiff of the party planning going on. Hehe. In fact, when we walked into Bar Savanh with the whole group waiting there, it took me so long to register that I even thot "Hell, whatta fucking coincidence, everyone's bloody here". Then I saw the cake and bright old me went "Oh, who's birthday is it today" (Deep down inside I was going "Shit shit shit, should I know that it is someone's birthday today?"). Silly me.

Anyways it was a great bash. I was gone really fast. And I can't remember half the nite. If the strength of my hangover today correlates to how great the party was - then it must have been

ONE FUCKING A, SMASHING, ABSOLUTELY BLOTTO, FANTABULOUS NITE.

Apparently I slurred 'I rove yous' a lot last nite and that's me speaking the goddarn drunken truth.

I'm also very glad that there are no photographic evidence of what happened last nite. Muahaha.

25 is a big step for me. It signals that half my life had passed by, and boy, trust me when I say I'm feeling so crappy bout my age, I might as well begin menopausing, man! Things change - prices go up (esp. alcohol and liquor), schedules change, good friends go missing, old haunts closing down...

Yet close friends stay on for the next round of my abuse. Hehe. And it gets better.

We should do this partying more often. We can't drink as much as we used to. Or partied as long as we used to. But we sure as hell can enjoy each other's age-ing company much more. ;)

Oh, and I'll try to stay conscious longer next time.

I rove you, cassie and stephie!

2005-01-28T16:34:00.000+08:00

FUCK!

I'm gonna MISS all of you!

resignation

2005-01-26T10:25:00.000+08:00

Have tendered it in yesterday and had a long chat with my boss. He had given some points in case for thoughts. Today I'll give him my final answer.

I think I shall not burden myself with 'what if's if i can ever avoid it. And the USD salary plus accomodation plus car and driver is a major reason NOT to miss.

Blerks.

Cambodia & the Canton Fair

2005-01-24T13:59:00.000+08:00

I've just accepted the work to Cambodia. Gonna miss my cronies here in kayel.

But I'll write more about it in another postie.

I still want go to the Canton fair:

Time of Initiation: the spring of April, 1957
Interval: two phases a session, two sessions a year
Fair Session:
Phase 1:April.15th -20th Phase 2:April.25th-30th (Spring)
Phase 1:Oct.15th -20th Phase 2:Oct.25th-30th (Autumn)
Duration: 6 days each phase, 2 phases each session

Open Hours(95th Session):
Phase I : April 15-20, 2004 9:30-18:00
Phase II : April 25-30, 2004 9:30-18:00
Fair Interval: April 21-24
Venue: Chinese Export Commodities Fair (Pazhou) Complex (Xingang Dong Road, Haizhu, Guangzhou, China) Chinese Export Commodities Fair (Liuhua) Complex (117 Liu Hua Road, Guangzhou, China) Exhibition Space: 550,000
M2 Number of Booths: 27,760 standard booths (96th Session)
Varieties: more than 150,000 Business Turnover 27,200 Million USD (96th Session)
Number of Trading Countries & Regions: 203 (96th Session)
Exhibitors: 13,330 companies (96th Session)

ANY TAKERS?

Cambodia

2005-01-22T16:11:00.000+08:00

Country Name:

conventional long form: Kingdom of Cambodia
conventional short form: Cambodia
local short form: Kampuchea
local long form: Preahreacheanacha Kampuchea (phonetic pronunciation)

GENERAL INFORMATION

Coastline:

443 km (loads of beaches!)

Climate:

Tropical; rainy, monsoon season (May to November); dry season (December to April); little seasonal temperature variation

Population:

13,363,421

Major infectious diseases:

typhoid fever, dengue fever, malaria, Japanese encephalitis overall. degree of risk: very high (2004) (Gulp!)

GDP: purchasing power parity - $25.02 billion (2004 est.)

GDP - real growth rate: 5% (2004 est.)

GDP - per capita: purchasing power parity - $1,900 (2004 est.)

GDP - composition by sector: agriculture: 35% industry: 30% services: 35% (2003 est.)

WHAT WOULD I BE SPENDING ON?

Currency: riel (KHR)

Exchange rates: riels per US dollar - 3,973.33 (2003). If you've got cash US dollars, you won't need to change money in Cambodia and you'll pay much the same as you would with riel.

Meal Costs:

Budget: US$2-5
Mid-range: US$5-8
High: US$8-15
Deluxe: US$15+

Travelling :

Phnom Penh
Angkor
Battambang (A riverside town - sounds great!)
Sihanoukville (Beach sides but apparently it's not good as Thailand's)
Kompong Luong (A floating town - great for guzzling beer and relax)
Phnom Udong (The old capital city - with town stupas and a mass grave memorial to victims of the Pol Pot regime)

GETTING IN TOUCH WITH THE 'REAL WORLD'

Radios: 1.34 million (1997)

Televisions: 94,000 (1997)

Internet Service Providers (ISPs): 2 (2000)

Internet users: 30,000 (2002) (Hmmmmmm)

decisions decisions decisions

2005-01-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

Have quite a lot to think of the past few days. Mainly to do with work and moolah ($).

I don't think I'm happy working where I am at the mo.

I love the people.

But I don't think I feel much for the work. Or am progressing fom the work.

Which is why it is nice to get job offers from other agencies.

But then sometimes too much options will kill ya.

Should I go over to 'L' or 'O&M' or should I take the outpost to Cambodia?

That reminds me, I'd better check out what Cambodia's like.

Work pays in USD lar.

Ciao.

clubbing: the day after...

2005-01-22T15:35:00.000+08:00

... where you end up with bruises in the eccentric shapes of of a galaxy and a black hole to boot on your inner tight, not knowing what happened there. You get this painful creak on your spine when you try stretching (never again!). You've got a 10-year itch to stay at home but you can't (cos you be too damn hungry!) and 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' becomes the only place to go because it's just so damn close by.

Was it worth it?

It was Henry's last nite out (at least there'll be no more sinful partying for me). And I had to dig it when we started singing theme songs from ye old musicals. It was 4.30am. In a decidedly empty frangipani. 8 alkies in total comprising of 7 gay guys, 1 gorgeous chick (me), vocal chords coming together to create a cacophonic number of musical medleys. Who wouldn't?

Was it worth it?

Yeah it has to be. 'Priceless' as the MasterCard ad goes.

Cass, love ya for showing up. Gotta bug you for ditching so early tho!

Shiang, I found this joint with a slots machine room (lost RM100 in 3 mins). Best part is, they have a recreation room upstarts equipped with a billiard table, table tennis, pool table, mahjong room, sauna and gym. If you are a member, the above facilities are free. IMAGINE: FREE 'LUCKY GAMES' YO! Guess who be a member? GRIN.

A product of my SMS affair...

2005-01-13T20:41:00.000+08:00

Me: You, lazy.

She: No, I'm not. I am sometimes but not always. So tsb this sat?

Me: no such thing as a part time lazyhead. where got freelancers in lalaland one? grin. any lazier and your name would be garfield.

She: Hey. Tats so not true. There's definitely a part time lazyhead. Its d new age thingy babe. Everything's possible ;-) how come ya not asleep yet?

Me: So now you are a hald n half lazyhead with a new age look on life? lol

She: Not half n half. Its a mode ala mood switcher thingy. ;-) r u drunk or smtg?

Me: So you have an on off button at your sides? grin. no, not drunk. just worried abt never noticing a power switch on your waist. grin.

She: Maybe u din search or notice harder. ;-)

Me: Ah... then you must allow me to have further scrutiny. winkety wink.

She: It depends on my mood then. He he well how come ya still not asleep? Watching tv?

Me: Grin. nah. reading a book. felt like in a teasing mood today.

She: Ha ha well I'm sure u haf yr switcher too. At times u damn layan me. Anyways i'm off to bed. Insomnia past 2 days. Now v tired. Nite.

Me: yep. only you, my half n half switchboard panel with lazy button on. GRIN. it is now safe for you to switch off your computer. nite.

Quit rolling your eyes.

I admit, sometimes I'm such a slut that I turn into a bimbo. Blame the hormones. I was too horny to think right.

And yes. I'm gonna be through with it.

flu-ey phooey

2005-01-08T01:07:00.000+08:00

I hate flu. it gives me the mushy-brain effect and most times, I suffer from short term memory loss.

i hate the joint aches. the lethargy kills me.

i don't like feeling slow, and snail-ish is what i get when i'm flu-ish.

the doc says if i don't recover from this round, i'll gotta take urine samples and get an x-ray of me chest.

the doc also charged me RM120 for his 15 min consultancy.

babe, gimme a massage and get me well...

Travelling to Malaysia?

2005-01-03T18:30:00.000+08:00

I've just bought RM600 worth of travelogues for Malaysia. Name it, Lonely Planet, Insight Asia, what nots, I have them. In fact, by end of the month, who knows? I'll probably be able to name every back alley with a famous beef stew noodle stall in it.

[I've got eye-bags the size of watermelons]

Ciao.

Post it Boards

2005-01-03T14:35:00.000+08:00

It's 2.34pm, office hours.

Have spent the last half hour figuring the html coding for the chat board. Yea, I've been extremely productive.

It's up and I'm totally ecstatic. Now I gotta figure out whats with the dysfunctional msgs in it.

I'm still totally ecstatic.

Do you trade only in temptations then?

2005-01-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

For some time now, I’ve never wanted anyone but her. I wanted to run my finger from the tip of her nose down to the nape of her neck… down the slope of her breasts and across the plains of her stomach to where I knew she would be wet.

We kissed often in the past. It was difficult to separate us then.

She’s engaged to be married and it’s too late. I’m done.

I could have rocked her world.

Why does she keep calling me?

I’m not a girl-on-call. I can’t open my heart each time you are lonely, or drunk or just felt like meeting me.

I can be a flirt. But even a flirt has her hours and I’m no masochist.

Does it matter to her to tell me what and where she had done / been for the day?

I’m no bloody confessional box.

What am I to her? A temptation far too seductive to let go and yet, too dangerous to hold on to?

Should I care?

I’m not comforted.

Why could she not turn her life towards me?

Doesn’t matter.

I’m through

Horrors: Killer Tsunami and death toll at 60,000

2004-12-30T01:35:00.000+08:00

Currently death toll in Malaysia amounts up to 60 deaths - with the worst incidences centred in Kedah (my home state) & Penang. Everything is ok though - so far I've not heard of any bad news from my old friends and my family back in Kedah is fine.

Apparently tremors were felt in KL too. I didn't feel it though. Was sleeping like a log, after an intense celebrations with friends at home. In fact, I fell asleep on the couch in my living room. Didn't even know my friends left early in the morning. It was only in the afternoon that I found out about this - got on CNN (but at the time, they were covering other news), luckily the more reliable BBC had begun their full on coverage. Heard from my colleagues that CNN even reported that 'KL was devastated'. Get your frigging details right man!

I guess Malaysia's relatively lucky in this instance. Many more could have died if the epicentre for the quake had been located under open ocean - the northern portion of our west coast would have been much more exposed to the tsunami. Apparently, the waves that struck Penang and Kedah could have been reflected waves or caused by the effect of interference. Compare that with the waves along Java, which was reported to have gotten as high as 35 metres. And the destruction to Sri Lanka was depressing. In fact you gotta check out the satellite pic showing the tsunami hitting Sri Lanka.

One of my friends was exceptionally blessed; his son was supposed to be enjoying a yatching holiday in Phuket during the Christmas season - in fact, he was suppose to arrive the night before the earthquake hit. Fortunately, his flight was cancelled at the last minute and he was stuck to celebrating via the 'drab' clubbing scene in KL instead. Another friend was not so fortunate - he lost a brother from the tsunami.

Read in one of the local papers on these two divers - they went deep underwater when the waves struck. Did not sense anything was wrong with the current - they came up to shore safely and found everything wrecked. Weird how nature works huh?

Cover Page from The Guardian UK, Dec 29, 2004

2004-12-30T00:57:00.000+08:00

That's me, not quite awake yet. Now to think of it, this pic gives me the claustrophobia. Brrrr.
me myself i

arse in gear

2004-12-29T03:22:00.000+08:00

It's 3.01am and I'm still here. Been ages since I've been online at home and I'm in sheer internetty heaven. Never mind the late night and the 'coal face'.

Feels like that moment of truth. The holy grail. The second where you just have to scream out 'Hell yea, I'm in Nerdvana. Fucking A!'. Instead I'm starting this blog.

It's great to see such productive use of my hours. In fact, I would gladly say that this is a moment of triumph - second only to the time when I finally stopped my gym membership. Nothing can top that. Understand this, I was a happy one-and-half year old absentee member of this gym called 'Fitness First'. I betcha that in my membership file, they had me listed as 'MIA' under member status. I went only 4 times in that one-and-half years - the 4th time was basically to end our sad one-way relationship (which is to say, hard cold cash passing from my bank account to theirs).

Anyways, I'm going off to gloat in my renewed internet connection.
Utterly fab.
MP3s MP3s MP3s.
Drooling.

Pure unadulterated ecstacy.

There's almost a sense of poignancy in getting my arse geared up for this blog thing. Fill me with helium and let me fly. I'm high enough as it is.

I like blogging.